I wrote a guest post on another blog, Ambajam, with five baby sleep tips. You have a chance to win one of their very cute Cuddle Up baby blankets or a copy of my Help Your Child Sleep, a Step-by-Step Guide e-book, if you enter the contest before MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2008. Enter today!
Introducing a lovey to your baby or toddler can sometimes help him feel cozy and secure in his crib or bed. The lovey should ideally not be larger than his head nor have things that can fall off that he can choke on (such as eyes on a stuffed animal). A small baby blanket is a wonderful choice. My son took to sucking on his blanket for a few months (never took a pacifier or sucked his thumb, so I was lucky there were no habits to break in that regard).
To introduce the lovey to your baby, simply start holding it during your bedtime and nap routines, particularly if you are nursing. Hold it close to your child and he will start to associate it with comfort while you are soothing him down for sleep.
Some people are worried their child will be carrying around a ratty blanket for years to come. You can make it a rule the lovey remains in your baby’s room / crib and only use it for sleep. I did this and it worked very well and we never had a problem.
Note: To guard against the risk of SIDS, you need to be careful about how early you introduce a lovey / blanket. Please read the 10 ways to reduce the risk of SIDS.
When you feel comfortable, you can place the lovey in the crib or bed with your baby or toddler and she will be able to seek comfort in the lovey during nighttime arousals or through sleep cycles.
Word to the wise. You will need to clean the lovey and there is always the potential of loss (through wear and tear or just leaving it somewhere), so you may want to buy a “double” (or triple) that you can rotate, so your child will never notice if something should happen to the lovey.
Infants have a strong sucking reflex and therefore many people choose to give their baby a pacifier. Some parents warn against it, encouraging you to have them “attach” to you rather than an inanimate object while other parents warn that if you don’t give him a pacifier, you will become his “pacifier”. Who’s right? No one! It will be up to you and what works for you and your baby and what works for others might not work for YOU.
If you are formula feeding, you can use a pacifier from day 1.
If you are breastfeeding, it is a good idea to establish breastfeeding first before introducing another type of nipple. Some babies will have no problem going back and forth, but since you don’t know if yours will or not, it’s a good idea to wait so as not to cause nipple confusion and establish your milk supply, first. This is usually recommended no earlier than 3 weeks and anywhere from 4-8 weeks. If you just need to do it earlier (especially if you will be returning to work), that’s ok! Just do your best and if you start to have trouble, learn how to get baby back to breast.
Is a pacifier bad for your baby’s teeth? In short, no. Only when your baby sucks her thumb or uses a pacifier past the age of two is there a risk of altering their bite. It is unrealistic to expect many babies not to want to suck during those first 2 years.
There is a time when a pacifier can become a problem and that’s when it interrupts their sleep. Some parents are weary having to replace a pacifier 8-10 times per night. In this case, the pacifier has become a poor sleep association that you may want to consider breaking. Some babies will be able to find their own pacifier at night (particularly if you throw 3 or 4 or 8 into the crib), but usually that isn’t until around 6 months. Some may technically be able to, but simply won’t do it. Others will learn sooner. So, if you really want to hang on to the pacifier, you may be able to just wait it out.
Some parents feel they become their baby’s “pacifier” because they are breastfeeding and baby wants to suckle A LOT (what “a lot” means will vary from parent to parent). This can happen. My eldest son did not want a pacifier and not from a lack of trying (mostly by others because I was not 100% on board with a pacifier anyway), so yes, he did suckle a lot and yes, did develop a sleep association (I did not mind until it was ALL night long!) that we later had to break. We continued to successfully breastfeed until 13 months. He did take to sucking on a light receiving blanket as his “lovey” for several months (he stopped using it on his own), but I was fortunate because I never had to break a pacifier or thumb-sucking habit. So, when my second son came along, I actually decided not to give him a pacifier and it was rough for the first couple months, but then got a lot better and so far, no thumb-sucking, yet, either. I am hoping not to have to break either habit, again, but we’ll see.
If your baby has trouble sleeping with a pacifier at night, but not during the day (or vice versa), you can limit it to one or the other as a baby’s sleep is handled by different parts of the brain for each.
All in all, I’d say a pacifier can be a good solution (if you agree with the use of one), until it becomes a problem. Once it hurts more than it helps, it may just be time to get rid of it. For help breaking sleep associations or help with other child sleep problems, you may be interested in Help Your Child Sleep, a Step-By-Step Guide or my one-on-one baby sleep consultations.
This article outlines the average toddler schedule, including feedings, naps and night sleep. If your toddler is having trouble napping, you may be interested in my toddler nap tips. And, for good ideas on feeding your toddler, check out Wholesome Toddler Food. You may also want to encourage your toddler to get involved in his routine by teaching him to tell time with this Melissa and Doug Wooden Shape Sorting Clock.
Two Nap Schedule | One Nap Schedule | No Nap Schedule
Toddler Schedules - General Info
At this age, your toddler should be sleeping through the night, with no night feedings. Obviously, all babies vary, but here are some rough schedules you can use to make your own for your unique baby.
I think of a “toddler” as a 1-3 year old, which is a wide range. Sleep needs change in that time-frame. While your one year old may be sleeping 12 hours at night and 2-3 hours during the day made up of 2 naps, on average, your three year old is likely starting to transition into not napping all together and will do so most likely before the age of four. At 2 years old, the average amount of sleep drops to between 12 and 12 1/2 hours in 24 hours, including just one afternoon nap. The average age for a toddler to transition to just one nap is 15-18 months. Transitioning too soon can have disastrous results with a very cranky toddler.
This article will give an example of 3 different types of schedules, 2 naps, 1 nap and no naps.
7:00 - Wake
7:00/7:30 - Breakfast
9:30 - Light snack if she needs it
10:00 - Morning Nap (at least 1 hour)
11:30/12:00 - Lunch
2:00 - Afternoon Nap (at least 1 hour)
3:30 - Afternoon Snack
5:30 - Dinner
6:30 - Begin bedtime routine
7:00 - Bedtime
7:00 - Wake
7:00/7:30 - Breakfast
9:00 - Light snack if she needs it
11:00 - Lunch
12:00 - Nap (at least 1 hour)
3:30 - Afternoon Snack
5:30 - Dinner
6:30 - Begin bedtime routine
7:00 - Bedtime
7:00 - Wake
7:00/7:30 - Breakfast
9:30 - Light snack if she needs it
12:00 - Lunch
1:00 - Quiet/Rest time (45 minutes to 1 hour)
3:30 - Afternoon Snack
5:30 - Dinner
6:30 - Begin bedtime routine
7:00 - Bedtime
If you need help with your toddler’s schedule, you may be interested in Help Your Child Sleep, a Detailed Guide, which discusses naps, schedules, and shifting schedules for children waking too early or going to bed too late (among many other things) or get one-on-one sleep advice.
Don’t let sleep deprivation last any longer than it needs to in your household! I’m here to help! Receive 30% OFF my baby sleep consulting services from now until 8/31/2008! Please login to my helpdesk to purchase and use coupon code SUMMER08. Looking forward to working with you!
If you are unfortunate enough to consider letting baby cry it out (because let’s face it, none of us PLAN to let their baby cry it out when they are still in the womb or anything! It’s typically the last resort for most of us.), many people want to know when it is okay to do it. Some people would answer “never” and that is their right.
Here at Pick Nick’s Brain, I understand that all situations are unique and what works for you might not work for others and what works for others might not work for YOU! I am here to help you develop the plan that will be most likely to succeed based on your baby’s temperament and personality and your parenting style and philosophy. If your philosophy goes against cry it out, simple DON’T DO IT (it won’t work anyway).
First, let me define what I mean by “cry it out” because it means different things to different people.
What Cry It Out Isn’t
That last one some would say is always true, but I disagree, but we’ll get to that.
What Cry It Out IS
That’s it! Sometimes it’s just about setting limits that you will not nurse all night or replace a pacifier 10 times per night or rock your baby in the rocking chair for 3 hours and then every 2 hours after that (like my son wanted me to do). Those are all sleep associations that sometimes need to be broken (and not replaced with a new one).
The act of crying does nothing to teach baby to sleep and it won’t change his personality. Cry “it” out is simply letting baby find his own way to fall asleep and allowing him to cry out his frustration about not being able to get that pacifier replaced for the 10th time. None of us get better at something without practice.
OF COURSE, some parents can nurse all night and it works great for them. Others can rock their baby for 10 minutes and he sleeps all night. But, many of us are simply not that lucky. If baby cried being in the car seat, would you take him out while driving because he was crying?
It is hard for many of us to break habits, but the longer you do it, the harder the habit is to break, right?
Cry It Out - What age?
So, what’s the right age to allow baby to cry it out? Once again, this answer will vary. I try to empower parents here on this site. You know your baby best! At some point you know that your baby is very capable of putting herself to sleep, but prefers you to rock, bounce, nurse, etc. her to sleep. There is not going to be a magic age, but one day you will realize what baby once NEEDED to fall asleep, now she simply WANTS it. That is the key to finding the “right” time. You are simply at your wits end and just can’t do “it” anymore.
Having said all that, if your baby’s temperament is “easy”, sometimes all it takes is for you to just get out of the way a little bit and allow baby to fuss for 5 minutes or less and that can be done when he is just a newborn. Aside from a little fussing, I usually don’t recommend finding a cry it out method to formally use until at least 4 months old. The ideal age is usually before 8-10 months. I’ve had parents tell me they feel they waited too long by only waiting until 10 months old. Once baby can pull to standing, it gets harder (but not impossible) and personalities only get stronger, so it’s great to lay the foundation before that time.
How to Cry It Out
There are NUMEROUS variations to the cry it out method and it’s important to be responsible about it. It is unfair to just “snap” one day, let him cry and then go to him the next day, on/off, on/off. You need to make A PLAN. I also never recommend to allow baby to cry it out when she is still swaddled, because they need to find a way to self-soothe by finding their fingers/thumb.
If you are confused about how to go about letting your baby cry it out, please do some reading on this site or buy my e-Book, Help Your Child Sleep, a Detailed Guide which outlines various methods and has pros and cons of each method. It’s a step-by-step guide in helping you through the process and how to achieve maximum success. If you want help developing a plan you can 100% commit to (consistency is key!), I also offer sleep consulting services.
What does Cry It Out mean to you?
Woohoo! I am giving away another copy of my e-Book, Help Your Child Sleep, a Detailed Guide. I wrote a guest post, Teething, Crawling, Traveling - What About Sleep?, on Mommy Daddy Blog - Jr. High Sweethearts Chronicle Their Journey Through Parenthood. Check it out and comment on how my e-Book can help your household. Enter before MONDAY, AUGUST 18, 2008, 7 p.m. to win!
Getting a toddler to nap is not always an easy task. Here are 5 tips to help your toddler nap better.
1. Age-appropriate nap schedule for your toddler
The first tip is to make sure you are napping your toddler at the right time. Some people are surprised to know that toddlers do not typically transition to just one midday nap until 15-18 months, on average. At many daycares, for example, they tend to transition many toddlers to one nap around their first birthday. While this may be okay for some (my first did, in fact, transition to just one nap around his 1st birthday), it can have disastrous results for others. Not only may it make a very cranky toddler, but they may not nap long enough because they are overtired and they also may not sleep through the night.
If your toddler is still taking 2 naps, a typical schedule might be 7-10-2-7 (that’s wake at 7, naps at 10 and 2 with a bedtime at 7pm). A one-nap schedule might be 7-12-7. Please review how much sleep your toddler needs.
2. Have a nap routine
Routines set the stage and expectations of your toddler so he will know what to expect at any given time of the day. So, to help transition him from playing hard to a nap, it is best to develop a routine. If he is on one nap, for example, his nap may fall soon after lunch. Therefore, you should not get into an exciting game, but perhaps “storytime” is a good activity after lunch. A typical routine might be a quiet game for 5 minutes, some light music, read 2 books, cuddle for a minute and then put him down for his nap. If you are consistent, he will likely start to know what’s coming next and start to get tired before you even get to step 2.
3. Be careful of how she falls asleep
It is important to encourage your toddler to fall asleep a certain way that he can go BACK to sleep after his sleep cycles. We all wake periodically while we sleep going from deeper sleep into lighter sleep and back into deep sleep, again. It is when she is in lighter sleep and needs to go into deep sleep again, but is no longer rocking or sucking a pacifier or nursing or some other sleep association that she has trouble going back to sleep, making for a too-short nap. Encourage her to learn to fall asleep without your assistance. Of course, if you enjoy the snuggle and she takes a nap that is at least one hour (the minimum to be considered restorative), then it’s not a problem at all for you to do that.
4. Avoid snoozes
Have you ever napped at 6 pm and then had trouble falling asleep at your normal bedtime of 10 pm? Similarly, a short snooze in the car, stroller, etc. may recharge your toddler making it hard for him to nap during his normal nap time. If you know he gets sleepy around a certain time, try to avoid car rides or walks in the stroller.
5. Have a set amount of nap time
Establish a “nap hour” where your toddler will be in bed, regardless if he is asleep. This gives him some down-time, away from the household hustle and bustle, at the very least. And, it gives you, mom and dad, a much needed break to recharge yourself. If he naps 45 minutes and you leave him alone for another 15, he just might drift back off to sleep. If you are consistent, they will come to expect that their nap hour is just that, and will either play or learn to sleep at least that long. Sometimes all they need is 5 minutes to drift back off to sleep.
Need more help with your toddler’s sleep problems?
If you need more help with your toddler’s sleep, you may be interested in my e-Book, Help Your Child Sleep, a Detailed Guide which discusses toddler sleep issues such as waking up too early (or going to bed too late), transitioning to a big boy bed, and more! Or, you may be interested in custom sleep advice for your unique child and situation.
Do you have any toddler napping tips? Please share!
And, just for entering you receive a free 11×14 Canvas Portrait and 1 year subscription to Parenting magazine. And, there are $1,000’s in monthly prizes. Good luck!
I received a question through my Ask Nicole e-mail address (asknicole [at] picknicksbrain [dot] com) this week. It came at the perfect time because I was contemplating what to write about for my blog posts this week (I try to post every Tuesday and Thursday and have a lot of ideas, but like to vary topics) and it was a good question. The gist of the question is whether it’s OK to put a 9-month old on his tummy to sleep.
First, Back to Sleep
It is highly recommended to place your baby on his back to sleep to reduce the risk of SIDS. If you haven’t already, please review the ten ways to reduce SIDS risk, one of which is to make sure baby sleeps on his back to sleep. Some parents are worried baby will choke on spit-up, but babies will automatically swallow fluids or turn to the side. The #1 way to reduce the risk of SIDS is to put baby “back to sleep”.
When can baby sleep on his tummy?
So, when can we put our babies on their tummy to sleep? Please note you should check with your pediatrician, first and foremost. I am not a doctor, but it is my understanding that once your baby can roll onto her tummy, it is OK to allow her to sleep that way and you do not need to worry about continuously flipping her back over. Dr. Sears’ website states “It does not mean that if your baby sleeps on her tummy she’s going to die of SIDS. Current SIDS rates are around one in a thousand babies; meaning that there’s a 99.9 percent chance your child will remain a healthy little girl regardless of her sleep position.”
Some babies start to roll and don’t like it and wake you up numerous times per night. That is never fun. I was lucky that once my son learned to roll that way, he actually slept better!
But, what about older babies?
Even though SIDS can happen anytime in the first year, the peak risk for SIDS is between 2 and 4 months old and 95% of all cases have occurred before 6 months, so that is probably less of a concern in a baby as old as 9 months old (the question at hand I mentioned at the beginning of this post). Many babies are rolling by 9 months old and likely would roll in their sleep, too.
Should you “force” tummy sleeping to get better sleep?
While encouraging your baby to sleep on his tummy when he hasn’t done it himself can work, it may be difficult to implement. It is best to develop a plan that you can 100% commit to and the #1 question to ask yourself when you consider a plan such as this, is whether you can stand at the crib and rub/pat his back for 2 hours. Of course, most babies probably will not take that long, but in most cases, if you had to visit this site, you do not have an “easy” sleeper and thus, certain methods may take a little longer than with other babies (especially in this case if he isn’t used to sleeping on his tummy). While some may drift off to sleep in 5-10 minutes, yours might take 30, 60 or 90 minutes. The #1 key is to be consistent with your plan, so make sure whatever you choose to do, you feel 100% committed you can stick with it for as long as it takes and then hope he doesn’t take that long. 
Of course, you will never know unless you try, either.
However, as with any method, you should be very careful not to create yet another sleep association that you will need to break. Don’t break one sleep association in exchange for another. That’s very important!
When did your baby start to sleep on his tummy?
