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A friend of mine just had a baby and she gave me the idea for this article because her family was urging her to “get the baby used to sleeping with noise”. If I had a dime every time someone told me part of my son’s sleep problems were because he needed to get used to sleeping with noise…well I’d probably only have $5, but still, it was really frustrating to hear. Let me be honest. I have NO SCIENTIFIC proof of what I’m about to say. YOU CAN’T GET A BABY TO GET USED TO NOISE AND SLEEP THROUGH IT. Okay, you might be able to help them not wake up with every little noise, but overall, your baby has a certain threshold where certain things will wake him up. Period.

When your baby is a newborn, he will spend most of his time in a deep sleep and likely sleep through almost ANYTHING! In deep sleep, it takes a lot to wake us up (adults included). Around 6 weeks old, he will become more social and start returning your smiles. This might be around the time the dog barking or that noise outside starts becoming interesting and he may not be able to sleep through as much, but usually he will still be in a deep sleep a lot of the time. By 4 months old, the way he sleeps changes a lot in when he goes into deep sleep and may be even more affected by noise.

Babies will vary as to how much noises interest them or wake them up and how quickly they can fall back to sleep if they do hear a noise. I can tell you that both my boys could not sleep through just anything and were not portable babies (I could not bank on them falling asleep on the go). But, my second son could fall back to sleep MUCH easier than my first. You might think I didn’t make enough noise with them, but let me assure you, my first son was in a very noisy daycare for 8+ months (before we got a nanny and kept him home, partially due to his sleep issues) and he NEVER “got used” to noise! I don’t care how many people tell me that I didn’t do something, he simply has always been worried he will miss something fun if he has to sleep and he all but went on a nap strike at daycare. Even as a 3 year old, at bedtime, he would claim he was not tired, say he didn’t want to go to sleep and then fall asleep 4 minutes later (I am not exaggerating!). He was no different as a baby and would fight sleep tooth and nail. So, with both boys we made sure we put the barking dogs away and gave them a quiet place to sleep, in the nursery and in their crib. We later bought White Noise Machines, to block out some of the household noises and encourage longer naps and better night sleep. My other friend’s baby was able to sleep through a lot more noise and on-the-go compared to my boys. It’s just luck of the draw.

So, next time someone tells you to get baby used to sleeping with noise, no, don’t walk on your tip toes, but please give your baby a quiet place to sleep if he needs it. I can tell you one thing, I certainly can’t sleep with my dogs barking outside my door or the radio blaring. I don’t expect my babies to, either.

Do you think a baby can learn to sleep through noise?

In a prior article, I talked about ADHD, Bipolar Disorder and sleep problems. Today, I have a guest post from Peggy Dolane telling her story of her daughter who was diagnosed with ADHD and how it affected her sleep and how her family solved the problem. I thought this could help others with children diagnosed with ADHD and suffer sleep deprivation.

ADHD and Sleep

by Peggy Dolane
Peggy Dolane is a freelance marketing writer and strategist. Her current projects include writing the blog for the Edge Foundation, a non-profit that provides coaching for students with ADHD.

 
Three years ago, my seven year old daughter was diagnosed with ADHD. Looking back on it, difficulty falling sleep was one of the significant symptoms of her ADHD. From day one, even as a baby, sleep didn’t come as easily as for her older brother. She would lie in her crib, clearly tired, singing to herself for up to an hour every night. Often, you’d find her sitting up in her crib asleep!

Once we moved her to a big-girl bed, sleep became a major issue. She just couldn’t seem to let go at the end of the day. The more tired she was, the harder it was for her to go to sleep. Exhausted, she would have major tantrums at night. And, she refused to stay in bed. If I didn’t sit right outside her door until she fell asleep, I’d find her in the kitchen smearing strawberry jam like finger-paints on the refrigerator door. Or, she’d be happily sprinkling all of my spices throughout the kitchen. (Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a turmeric stain out?) More nights than I care to remember, she would wind up in a hysterical tantrum that only ended when she was spanked. Somehow, that worked to send her off to sleep. Traveling was also very difficult for our family. We had to book two hotel rooms so at least half of our family could get some sleep. She would be up until 1 or 2 in the morning EVERY NIGHT.

I read every book on sleep to help her. But nothing worked. Desperate, we consulted with a psychologist who worked with us on a very strict sleep regime with no results. During this time she was diagnosed with ADHD and I read that sleep disorders are common with children who have ADHD. I found an article that said that Melatonin was a helpful, natural, supplement that many people with ADHD use to fall asleep.

If you had asked me before raising my daughter if I’d consider giving my child medication to help her sleep, I’d have said, “no way!” I remember as an adolescent lying awake at night, tired, unable to sleep and my mother having me tough it out. That’s just what you do. But we were desperate. No one wants to spank their child to sleep at night. And I knew we had done everything we could, read every book, tried months of expert-led behavioral therapy. Worst of all, bedtimes were damaging my relationship with my child.

At our next visit, our psychiatrist affirmed that many of his patients took Melatonin daily to sleep. So with mixed emotions, we tried it. The very first night we saw a dramatic improvement. The child that regularly took an hour or more to fall asleep immediately lay down and slept. Quietly. With no fuss. Within three weeks she was sleeping 11 hours a night instead of 10 and her evening tantrums had dramatically decreased. I started being able to enjoy being around my child at bedtime.

Two years later we are still giving her Melatonin every night. Does she still need it? You bet she does. One night last week, I forgot to give it to her. She quietly played in her room for two hours. I didn’t even know she was awake until I went to check on her before going to bed myself at 10:30. At that point she was overtired, so it took her another hour to fall asleep after I gave her the Melatonin.

I’m not a doctor, so I would urge anyone who is considering using Melatonin to consult with their pediatrician first before trying it. I have heard that Melatonin can give some people nightmares, but that hasn’t been our experience. I do know that problems with sleep for children who have ADHD are not uncommon. Over at Café Mom’s ADHD support groups, you’ll frequently find mothers who are struggling with a child who can’t sleep and mothers who found Melatonin was the only thing that worked. For our family, I’d call it a life saver.

ADHD Resources

Symptoms of ADHD and ADD: About.com and Family Doctor

Learn about Melatonin

Helpful books about ADHD

ADHD Support

CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)

CafeMom (search ADHD)

Just a quick announcement. I am now offering a pamphlet on shifting your baby or toddler’s schedule. This is designed for those parents who have already mastered most of their child’s sleep problems, but their baby or toddler is simply waking too early in the morning or going to bed too late at night. Your child is getting all the sleep he needs, but the schedule does not seem to fit in with the family. I recommend only attempting a schedule shift once your baby or toddler is already sleeping fairly well and he is old enough to withstand some over-tiredness without too much trouble. For babies very sensitive to becoming overtired this might not be until 8 or 9 months old. For those not very sensitive to over-tiredness, this can be as soon as 6 months old. Toddlers are usually ready and should be no problem to shift.

Note: If you already have my e-Book, Help Your Baby Sleep, a Step-by-Step guide, you already have this information.

Learn more about the Shift Your Child’s Schedule pamphlet, now!

This article outlines the average 10 month old baby schedule, including feedings, solids, naps and night sleep.

Skip to the schedule

10 month old’s sleep

At this age, most 10 month olds can sleep through the night, without a feeding, and take two naps. If your baby is having trouble napping, you may be interested in how you can get your baby to nap. A very small percentage transition to one nap as early as 10 months, but not many, so assume 2 naps unless you are certain. Most babies get very very overtired and sleep can spiral out of control, so I always recommend keeping one nap for as long as possible. The average age to transition to 1 nap is 15-18 months.

Although many babies can go all night without a single feeding, in my experience, some do better with one feeding after 4 or 5 a.m. and sleep longer than not feed and get an early wake-time. I would need to know your specific situation to make a recommendation, but just recognize that all babies are different. By this age I would not expect more than 1 feeding, typically, if any at all. I would recommend at least an attempt at night-weaning because it is a chicken and egg problem. It’s hard to encourage more eating during the day when he is eating at night and it’s hard to discourage eating at night when he isn’t eating more during the day.

All babies vary, but here are some rough schedules you can use to make your own for your unique baby. I should warn you that I am in the camp that breast milk or formula should be the primary nutrition for the first year and solids come secondary. Below are the amounts recommended from Super Baby Food, the book I use for reference (as a guide, not as the end-all-be-all because I don’t give my kids nuts before a year or follow other things in the book, but it’s a good reference guide). Another useful reference is Wholesome Baby Food. Although I work full time, I did make most of my baby food (I’d make 1 big batch of something each weekend in 1-2 hours), but even if you don’t, the website is useful as a guide when to introduce what food and other meal ideas.

Note: At 10 months, sometimes you notice a sharp increase in appetite (no doubt partially due to activity levels with crawling and possibly cruising), so what’s different about the 9 month schedule is the addition of another snack, some of the serving sizes and the # of servings.

Amounts per day:

• At least 3-4 nursing sessions per day or 24-32 ounces formula or combination of both
• No more than 6-8 oz of water or juice (to ensure they drink enough breast milk or formula)
• 2 servings (1 serving = 1-2 Tablespoons dry) baby cereal
• 2 servings grain (1 serving = 1/2 slice bread, 2 crackers, 1/2 cup Cheerios, or 1/2 cup whole grain pasta)
• 2 servings fruit (1 serving = 3-4 Tablespoons)
• 2-3 servings vegetable (1 serving = 3-4 Tablespoons)
• 2-3 servings protein (1 serving = 1-2 Tablespoons)
• 1 serving Dairy (1 serving = 1/2 cup yogurt, 1/3 cup cottage cheese or 1 oz grated cheese)
• You can also offer cooked egg yolk (but no egg whites until 1 year old due to allergans)

The first schedule is what I call a “staggered” approach. My first son did better nursing fully and then having solids a bit in between nursing sessions. He was a little hungry but not famished. He just didn’t do well with stopping nursing mid-way to eat solids.

Sample 10 month old schedule

7:00 - Wake and Breast milk or Formula
9:00 - Breakfast
10:00 - Morning Nap (at least 1 hour)
11:00 - Breast milk or Formula plus snack
1:00 - Lunch
2:00 - Early Afternoon Nap (at least 1 hour)
3:00 - Breast milk or Formula plus snack
5:00 - Dinner
6:15 - Begin bedtime routine
7:00 - Breast milk or Formula and Bedtime (goal to be asleep at this time)

If your baby doesn’t mind a more “consolidated” approach to eating, like my second son, here is another type of schedule:

Schedule 2

7:00 - Wake
7:15 - Breakfast plus Breast milk / Formula feeding
9:15 - Snack
10:00 - Morning Nap (at least 1 hour)
12:00 - Lunch plus Breast milk / Formula feeding
2:00 - Afternoon Nap (at least 1 hour)
3:30 - Snack
5:00 - Dinner plus Breast milk / Formula feeding
6:15 - Begin bedtime routine
7:00 - Small BM/Formula feeding (possibly) and Bedtime (goal to be asleep at this time)

Note: When giving any feedings during your bedtime routine, be careful not to create sleep associations, which we saw become important at 4 months old.

If you need help with your baby’s schedule or night-weaning, you may be interested in Help Your Baby Sleep, a Step-by-Step Guide, which discusses naps, schedules, and shifting schedules for babies waking too early or going to bed too late (among many other things) or get one-on-one baby sleep advice.

What is your 10-month old’s schedule?

Now there are new ways to get to know me. You might want to know more about the woman behind Pick Nick’s Brain. I’ll add these to my Contact page, too, but thought I should announce it, too.

Get to know me and my family reading my personal blog, Mommy Brain Dump. Okay, I didn’t think of a better name at the time. I *was* pregnant when I made it.

Find me on Facebook

Find me on Twitter

Hope to see you around the ‘net!

Obviously, babies wake up crying to eat, because they are wet or dirty (sometimes), or to have their sleep association recreated (such as replacing a pacifier), but this Sleep Quick Tip is to discuss what it possibly means when your baby wakes up crying from a nap or in the morning when they are “done sleeping” (at least you think so).

From my reading, I have not found any definitive reason as to why babies cry when they wake up, but it is normal for them to cry between sleep cycles. With my first-born, if he woke up crying, it 90% of the time meant that he was not done sleeping. He may have awakened in between sleep cycles and had trouble going into the next one. My 2nd son had a much easier time going into the next sleep cycle, most of the time, but he still wimpered a bit, sometimes, between sleep cycles.

This tip is to encourage you not to run in at the slightest wimper because crying between sleep cycles is normal and expected. Babies might not do it every sleep cycle, but they do some. I am not saying you need to allow your baby to cry-it-out, but any amount of crying feels a lot longer than it is. My 2nd son did not have as much of a luxury to be attended to at the slightest wimper because I had my older son to take care of, too. I remember when my 2nd son was around 2 months old, I was fixing my first son lunch and #2 (his name is Nicholas, btw) woke up from his nap. I couldn’t get to him right away, but was walking to his room by the 3 or 4 minute mark and my hand was on the doorknob and he went back to sleep!! I would have disturbed his nap had I been in there any sooner. Of course, at 2 a.m. 3 or 4 minutes feels more like 30, but just keep it in mind.

As I said before, when my eldest son woke up from his nap, crying, it usually meant he was not done sleeping (whether he went back to sleep or not was hit or miss), so if he did wake up crying at least I knew whether to run in there or not. At the very least, I gave him 5 minutes to try to fall back to sleep…that is until I nap trained him. Having said that, I know one woman whose baby, 90% of the time, woke up crying and that’s just how he came out of his sleep cycles, so it didn’t have the same meaning for her.

Does your baby wake up crying?

This article outlines the average 9 month old baby schedule, including feedings, solids, naps and night sleep.

Skip to schedule

9 month old’s sleep

At this age, if you are not lucky enough to have a baby who sleeps through the night, most 9 month olds can sleep all night without a feeding and take two naps. If your baby is having trouble napping, you may be interested in how you can get your baby to nap. However, some babies, in my experience, do better with one feeding after 4 or 5 a.m. and sleep longer than not feed and get an early wake-time. I would need to know your specific situation to make a recommendation, but just recognize that all babies are different, but by this age I would not expect more than 1 feeding, typically, if any at all. All babies vary, but here are some rough schedules you can use to make your own for your unique baby.

I should warn you that I am in the camp that breastmilk or formula should be the primary nutrition for the first year and solids come secondary. Below are the amounts recommended from Super Baby Food, the book I use for reference (as a guide, not as the end-all-be-all because I don’t give my kids nuts before a year or follow other things in the book, but it’s a good reference guide). Another useful reference is Wholesome Baby Food. Although I work full time, I did make most of my baby food (I’d make 1 big batch of something each weekend in 1-2 hours), but even if you don’t, the website is useful as a guide when to introduce what food and other meal ideas.

Amounts per day:

• At least 3-4 nursing sessions per day or 26-32 ounces formula or combination of both
• 2 servings (1 serving = 1-2 Tablespoons dry) baby cereal
• 1-2 servings grain (1 serving = 1/2 slice bread, 2 crackers, 1/2 cup Cheerios, or 1/2 cup whole grain pasta)
• 2 servings (1 serving = 2-4 Tablespoons) fruit
• 2 servings (1 serving = 2-4 Tablespoons) vegetable
• 2-3 servings (1 serving = 1-2 Tablespoons) protein
• 1 serving Dairy (1 serving = 1/2 cup yogurt, 1/3 cup cottage cheese or 1 oz grated cheese)

The first schedule is what I call a “staggered” approach. My first son did better nursing fully and then having solids a bit in between nursing sessions. He was a little hungry but not famished. He just didn’t do well with stopping nursing mid-way to eat solids.

Sample 9 month old schedules

7:00 - Wake and Breast milk or Formula
9:00 - Breakfast
10:00 - Morning Nap (at least 1 hour)
11:00 - Breast milk or Formula
1:00 - Lunch
2:00 - Early Afternoon Nap (at least 1 hour)
3:00 - Breast milk or Formula plus snack
5:00 - Dinner
6:15 - Begin bedtime routine
7:00 - Breastmilk or Formula and Bedtime (goal to be asleep at this time)

If your baby doesn’t mind a more “consolidated” approach to eating, like my second son, here is another type of schedule:

Schedule 2

7:00 - Wake, 1/2 Breast milk / Formula feeding, breakfast and other 1/2 BM / Formula
10:00 - Morning Nap (at least 1 hour)
11:00 - 1/2 BM/Formula, Lunch, and other 1/2 BM/Formula
2:00 - Afternoon Nap (at least 1 hour)
3:00 - BM or Formula Feeding plus snack
5:00 - Dinner and 1/2 BM / Formula feeding
6:15 - Begin bedtime routine
7:00 - Small BM/Formula feeding and Bedtime (goal to be asleep at this time)

Note: When giving any feedings during your bedtime routine, be careful not to create sleep associations.

If you need help with your baby’s schedule, you may be interested in Help Your Baby Sleep, a Step-by-Step Guide, which discusses naps, schedules, and shifting schedules for babies waking too early or going to bed too late (among many other things) or get one-on-one baby sleep advice.

What is your 9-month old’s schedule?

I wrote a guest post on another blog, Ambajam, with five baby sleep tips. You have a chance to win one of their very cute Cuddle Up baby blankets or a copy of my Help Your Child Sleep, a Step-by-Step Guide e-book, if you enter the contest before MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2008. Enter today!

Introducing a lovey to your baby or toddler can sometimes help him feel cozy and secure in his crib or bed. The lovey should ideally not be larger than his head nor have things that can fall off that he can choke on (such as eyes on a stuffed animal). A small baby blanket is a wonderful choice. My son took to sucking on his blanket for a few months (never took a pacifier or sucked his thumb, so I was lucky there were no habits to break in that regard).

Introducing the baby lovey

To introduce the lovey to your baby, simply start holding it during your bedtime and nap routines, particularly if you are nursing. Hold it close to your child and he will start to associate it with comfort while you are soothing him down for sleep.

Some people are worried their child will be carrying around a ratty blanket for years to come. You can make it a rule the lovey remains in your baby’s room / crib and only use it for sleep. I did this and it worked very well and we never had a problem.

Note: To guard against the risk of SIDS, you need to be careful about how early you introduce a lovey / blanket. Please read the 10 ways to reduce the risk of SIDS.

When you feel comfortable, you can place the lovey in the crib or bed with your baby or toddler and she will be able to seek comfort in the lovey during nighttime arousals or through sleep cycles.

Replacement Lovey

Word to the wise. You will need to clean the lovey and there is always the potential of loss (through wear and tear or just leaving it somewhere), so you may want to buy a “double” (or triple) that you can rotate, so your child will never notice if something should happen to the lovey.

Does your baby use a lovey?

Infants have a strong sucking reflex and therefore many people choose to give their baby a pacifier. Some parents warn against it, encouraging you to have them “attach” to you rather than an inanimate object while other parents warn that if you don’t give him a pacifier, you will become his “pacifier”. Who’s right? No one! It will be up to you and what works for you and your baby and what works for others might not work for YOU.

When to introduce a pacifier

If you are formula feeding, you can use a pacifier from day 1.

If you are breastfeeding, it is a good idea to establish breastfeeding first before introducing another type of nipple. Some babies will have no problem going back and forth, but since you don’t know if yours will or not, it’s a good idea to wait so as not to cause nipple confusion and establish your milk supply, first. This is usually recommended no earlier than 3 weeks and anywhere from 4-8 weeks. If you just need to do it earlier (especially if you will be returning to work), that’s ok! Just do your best and if you start to have trouble, learn how to get baby back to breast.

Pacifier and Teeth

Is a pacifier bad for your baby’s teeth? In short, no. Only when your baby sucks her thumb or uses a pacifier past the age of two is there a risk of altering their bite. It is unrealistic to expect many babies not to want to suck during those first 2 years.

When a pacifier becomes a problem

There is a time when a pacifier can become a problem and that’s when it interrupts their sleep. Some parents are weary having to replace a pacifier 8-10 times per night. In this case, the pacifier has become a poor sleep association that you may want to consider breaking. Some babies will be able to find their own pacifier at night (particularly if you throw 3 or 4 or 8 into the crib), but usually that isn’t until around 6 months. Some may technically be able to, but simply won’t do it. Others will learn sooner. So, if you really want to hang on to the pacifier, you may be able to just wait it out.

When you’re a “pacifier”

Some parents feel they become their baby’s “pacifier” because they are breastfeeding and baby wants to suckle A LOT (what “a lot” means will vary from parent to parent). This can happen. My eldest son did not want a pacifier and not from a lack of trying (mostly by others because I was not 100% on board with a pacifier anyway), so yes, he did suckle a lot and yes, did develop a sleep association (I did not mind until it was ALL night long!) that we later had to break. We continued to successfully breastfeed until 13 months. He did take to sucking on a light receiving blanket as his “lovey” for several months (he stopped using it on his own), but I was fortunate because I never had to break a pacifier or thumb-sucking habit. So, when my second son came along, I actually decided not to give him a pacifier and it was rough for the first couple months, but then got a lot better and so far, no thumb-sucking, yet, either. I am hoping not to have to break either habit, again, but we’ll see.

Pacifiers day and night

If your baby has trouble sleeping with a pacifier at night, but not during the day (or vice versa), you can limit it to one or the other as a baby’s sleep is handled by different parts of the brain for each.

All in all, I’d say a pacifier can be a good solution (if you agree with the use of one), until it becomes a problem. Once it hurts more than it helps, it may just be time to get rid of it. For help breaking sleep associations or help with other child sleep problems, you may be interested in Help Your Child Sleep, a Step-By-Step Guide or my one-on-one baby sleep consultations.

Do you use a pacifier? Did you have a problem with it?