Posts Tagged ‘sleep’

This isn’t a post about just children and sleep, per se, but the ongoing emphasis that healthy sleep habits are important for all of us, adults and children. I was doing some reading and have found that new studies are finding that it was once thought that sleep problems were a symptom of depression, but they are now considering that sleep problems may precede depression. In other words, if you begin to have substantial sleep problems, The American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) strongly recommends that you urgently go see a sleep specialist. Depression is the most common form of mental health problem and it now considered as common in children as it is adults. Each year 17 million people suffer from depression and as many as 1 in 33 children may have depression. It is important to determine whether your child or anyone you know has it. Studies of insomnia in children has been shown to lead to depression as they grow older and sleep problems have been linked to increased risk of anxiety and aggression, too.

The suggested treatment for depression in children is a form of psychotherapy called short-term cognitive behavior therapy in which the child is able to learn to view themselves more positively and in some cases, medication is also recommended. But, the FDA, in 2004, strengthened their warning that antidepressants in children can increase suicidal thoughts and therefore doctors should weigh the risks and benefits before prescribing them.

This is all a scary thought. Who knew that my preschooler could get depressed? I sure didn’t. But, antidepressant medication for young children? That is scary too.

What do you think? Can your preschooler or young child be depressed? What do you think about antidepressants for children?

Today I will start a series of posts outlining the variety of sleep training methods that I recommend. I will post them in order (as I interpret them) from no (or very little) crying to the most (potential) crying. There are many variations of these methods, so I am only going to highlight the main gist of each method. Every parent can add tweaks here and there to accommodate their unique style and situation. At the end of the series, I will tell my story of my first son and, eventually, my second. So, let’s get started! I’m anxious to share this information!

Why Sleep Train?

The primary goal of sleep training is to help your baby learn how to fall asleep on his or her own. We often do not give babies enough credit that they can learn to do this when they are very young. Habits become harder and harder to break as they get older, and I have had people tell me that even waiting until 8 months has felt too late. It is also important to understand how sleep associations work and why it’s often the only thing standing in your and your baby’s way of getting a good night’s sleep. The same way sleep deprivation and sleep fragmentation are hard on you, it’s hard on your baby, too. Not enough sleep can lead to obesity and other problems, as well.

When should you start sleep training?

If you have an “easy” sleeper, you probably already had it done at just a few weeks old. Some babies simply start sleeping all night. I have said before, this website is not really geared towards parents of those babies. It’s simply not that easy for all of us.

Although, it never hurts to try to put down your newborn when (s)he is still awake and see if (s)he will drift off unassisted, I do not advocate beginning formal sleep training until at least 4 months old and ideally, I believe it’s easiest during the 4 to 7 month age range. Of course, it’s never too late to help your baby learn to fall asleep unassisted, it’s just as they get older and start to pull up and stand, it becomes a bit more complicated. Once they turn one, they have a stronger will and things can get even harder. As always, this depends on the baby and thus, as usual, I urge you to decide for yourself when the “right” time is. It has to be right for you and your baby and you know your baby best. You must be in a place that you can 100% stay consistent and stick with it. That is an important step in any and all methods you choose. I have seen some parents start as early as 8-10 weeks and I’ve helped others get their 2 or 3 year old sleeping all night. That is an important item to note for those who believe that all kids will grow out of not sleeping all night. I’m sure you’ve seen commercials for drugs that help adults sleep such as Ambien or Lunesta. Your child may or may not outgrow these sleep problems and they become habit more than anything. Although babies go through sleep regressions, I always urge parents to look at the habits they may or may not help foster. Sure, it might be normal for some nightwakings throughout babyhood, but when your baby is waking up every 1-2 hours for a bottle or rocking in a rocking chair, this is not normal and not good for them. We ALL feel better on as little sleep fragmentation as possible and that includes your baby.

What’s my first step?

Your first step in sleep training is developing a bedtime routine. Children thrive on routine and it sets expectations so they know what’s going to come next. If every night is different, it does not cue them that the day is coming to a close and that their body should start to relax and get ready to go to sleep. When done right, part way into the routine, your child will probably start to get very sleepy because (s)he is associating certain actions with going to sleep. A routine also helps when you are away from home on vacation or special outing because the routine is the same.

What does a bedtime routine include?

The routine is up to you and your baby/toddler/child and what (s)he likes or dislikes, but a typical routine might include diaper and pajamas, a quiet game, teeth brushing, potty (if applicable), book (or 2), singing and cuddling, and then lights out. I purposely missed a bath in the routine. I did that for a couple reasons. Some people don’t want to or can’t give a bath every day and the other reason is if you have a spirited child like mine, a bath might actually have the opposite effect and rile up your child. For many kids, though, the warm water is relaxing, but for others the warm water and then the cooling off actually hypes them up a bit. In that case, you might just have a longer routine than others.

You now have the first step in sleep training. Next in my series, Part 2, I will start with the first method for those who co-sleep.

But, first, do you have any special steps in your bedtime routine you’d like to share?

I have added a new page, Resources, detailing various products I recommend. I wanted to clarify a few things on that page as to why I suggest a few books over others.

What I Recommend

For babies under 3 months old, I recommend The Happiest Baby on the Block by Karp. Once your baby is over 3 months, you probably won’t find it that useful. At that point, if your baby is not sleeping well he/she likely has a sleep association and that book won’t help you much. In fact, it helps you create sleep associations, but it’s a lifesaver if you have a challenging sleeper and honestly, in those early weeks, you do what you can to survive.

For babies from birth to 10 months, I recommend Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Weissbluth. It has a lot of good information and action plans for exhausted parents at the end of each chapter. It is broken down by age, too.

For babies/toddlers 10+ months, I recommend Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems by Ferber. It has a lot of very useful information on circadian rhythms, sleep assocations, but also a variety of other information on bed wetting, nightmares, etc.

If I had to only choose one book, it would be Weissbluth’s. This is because it probably has the most practical information in a format that’s an easy read. He leans towards CIO (cry-it-out), but offers several other options and the rest of the information is useful, even if you don’t agree with CIO. Ferber’s book is a very close second and really good, but maybe more than you ever wanted to know about biological rhythms. It is far more detailed. I also think Weissbluth’s book seems to apply to younger babies a little better, in my opinion. I think when babies get very overtired, it’s difficult to follow some of Ferber’s recommendations on fixing some problems, if you have a challenging sleeper.

Why I don’t recommend “On Becoming Babywise”

I don’t recommend the On Becoming Babywise book not because it doesn’t have good and interesting information in it. It does. But, I just think that you either have an easier sleeper and the book will seem like it’s 100% accurate or you will have a challenging sleeper and it will be worth nothing or your baby will be in between and the book just is somewhat useful. For example, my second son started sleeping in long stretches without actually following everything exactly. I think it was just in his nature, thus I concluded that the book is likely playing on the fact that most babies will naturally do it anyway during the timeframes outlined. Also, most importantly, I do not advocate letting newborns and very young babies cry for up to 20 minutes and if you are going to follow this book to the letter, that’s what you are supposed to do. I did not. I am not against crying methods (see my philosophy), but I don’t believe it should be done at a very young age. I do think the book gets a bad rap for being too strict and people say it advocates letting your baby cry to get to the next scheduled feeding. It does NOT advocate that and CLEARLY says to feed your baby if he/she is hungry.

Why I don’t recommend “The No Cry Sleep Solution”

The reason I don’t recommend The No-Cry Sleep Solution is, again, not because it does not have useful information. It does. But, once you know about sleep associations you have most of the information you need to have from this book. At this point, you will either easily be able to break those sleep associations in “gentle” ways by just discouraging the sleep associations and using some of the methods I’ve mentioned on this site. Or, you will have a challenging baby and sleeper and get frustrated that this book will not work. This is just my opinion, but it seems a little unrealistic for the really challenging sleepers and you don’t need the book to tell you that if rocking the baby is a problem, then stop.

Questions?

I hope you find some of the other resources I’ve outlined useful and please email me if you have any questions about them (info [at] picknicksbrain (dot) com).

Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder in children can now be traced back to infancy, as this article has shown. Bipolar children were found to be more difficult to console in infancy, exhibit a decreased need for sleep or difficulty going to sleep. In addition, recurring nightmares or night terrors have also been present in these children. On top of the sleep problems being a symptom, these children may seem more gifted in their “movement, language, and thought patterns” and creative in their writing, art, music, etc.

Interestingly enough, there is some overlap in ADHD symptoms and Bipolar Disorder. Among other symptoms, ADHD children may not sleep as long as other kids, but they don’t have the nightmares bipolar kids have. ADHD kids are generally not crabby after waking up quickly and are not generally gifted like bipolar kids.

This is actually a little scary in that some of the descriptions of Bipolar Disorder and ADHD sound a little like my eldest son (no nightmares). I thought this information was interesting, as they find out more about ADHD and Bipolar Disorder. Weissbluth theorizes that because they know children with ADHD have sleep-related problems, that it’s possible the sleep problems led to the hyperactivity and ADHD (they still don’t know which comes first). He illustrates one example of how this might happen in his book and talks about chronic fatigue leading to an increased amount of neurotransmitters (adrenaline, noradrenaline, and dopamine), causing more activity in the child both day and night (less restful sleep). This article also discusses the relationship between sleep deprivation and the symptoms of ADHD being magnified. If this is true, this is yet another reason to help your child learn healthy sleep habits such that it does not lead to chronic fatigue and sleep loss, leading to a potential ADHD outcome. As I mentioned in my article about behavior problems and sleep, it is imperative that my eldest son gets enough sleep and if my ability to give him healthy sleep habits has made it less likely he will be later diagnosed with ADHD, even better!

Do you ever notice your child get hyper when he isn’t sleeping enough?

One of the sites I’ve been perusing, as I develop this blog, is IttyBiz, which is an advice blog for small business owners. This week there was an interesting challenge in which she asks us to answer a few questions about what we do. She asks us these questions:

• What’s your game? What do you do?
• Why do you do it? Do you love it, or do you just have one of those creepy knacks?
• Who are your customers? What kind of people would need or want what you offer?
• What’s your marketing USP? Why should I buy from you instead of the other losers?
• What’s next for you? What’s the big plan?

I thought that I could do a special post today answering these questions.

What’s your game? What do you do?

Why thank you for asking. I give advice to parents who have challenging sleepers about how they can help establish healthy sleep habits whereby getting more sleep for both their babies and THEM!

Why do you do it? Do you love it, or do you just have one of those creepy knacks?

A little of both, actually. I had a very challenging sleeper as a first-born and once I was able to function again and after months of getting him to sleep well, I made it my mission to help other tired mommies and daddies. I think the “knack” I have is the ability to retain a lot of what I read, take someone else’s situation and philosophies, use my analytical skills, and figure out some advice that can help them. My “knack” is also that I can give advice and support without coming off as a know-it-all, pass judgment or make anyone feel bad for what they’ve done up until this point. Many parents blame themselves and are really hard on themselves. We’ve all been there and when you have a new baby, you do whatever you have to, to survive.

Who are your customers? What kind of people would need or want what you offer?

Very very very tired mommies and daddies. Over 12,000 babies are born every day in the U.S. alone. Many of those babies seem to struggle with learning how to sleep and the parents of those babies are who I would try to help.

What’s your marketing USP? Why should I buy from you instead of the other losers?

Well, I see many other “sleep consultants” who are very gimmick-y. They claim to help your child sleep in just 3 days or they sell you an eBook, which is basically a one-size-fits-all “program”. First of all, very very very tired mommies and daddies (see previous question) do not have the time, energy, or concentration to read all the books out there on helping a baby sleep. And, everyone’s situation is UNIQUE, so I don’t believe just one book or method will work for every baby. It’s very frustrating to read all these stories about babies who cry for 5 minutes and then sleep all night for the rest of their lives, when that is NOT YOUR reality! That’s where I come in. I’ve read numerous books and have it fresh in my mind (call me your cliffs notes) because of all the advice I give on a daily basis. I take the parent’s situation and figure out the best course of action based on their philosophy as the parent and the baby’s personality and temperament. So, in other words, a parent should buy from me because I offer a one-on-one personal touch, give great advice, and stick with them as they go through it giving them support all along the way.

What’s next for you? What’s the big plan?

What’s next is to see if I can get paid for this service. Right now I’m doing all of this for free. So, I’m working on this website to get some good content for parents to read such that I can become a good great online resource that can be passed among many parents. I am in the process of setting up some online services that can be purchased along with a free service, which I will announce very shortly.

I hope that gives you, the readers, a glimpse about all I do. And, I hope that it makes you want to know more.

Learn more about me here and here.

I am working on a sleep training series where I will outline the various methods, from no-cry to cry, but I don’t think it makes sense to write that until I have written out how much sleep we can expect our babies and toddlers to get. If our expectations are too high, we could be trying to sleep our children too often (yes I’m using “sleep” as a verb!) and it will become frustrating for everyone. If our expectations are too low, we might not sleep our children often enough, they may become overtired and irritable, making sleep training more difficult and it will become frustrating for everyone.

How much sleep does your child get now?

The first step you should take is to log your child’s sleep for a week to get an average number of sleep hours in 24 hours and take note how much of it is during the day and how much at night. Only write down times they are actually asleep (or quiet if you’re not sure), not when you tried to get them to sleep.

Some children are very consistent and you can almost set a clock by them, while others are very inconsistent taking different length naps at different times and waking up at a different time each morning. We’ll talk about how to regulate that a bit in a different post, but one thing is for certain and that’s the average amount of sleep in 24 hours stays relatively constant. However, children can and will move sleep from day to night, and vice versa, fairly easily.

How much sleep can you expect from your baby or toddler?

Below is an outline of the average sleeper. By definition, this means some will be on the lower end of sleep needs and some on the higher end. However, it is generally accepted that most babies and toddlers under 2 years old will not need less than 10 hours of sleep at night to be the optimum restoration for their little bodies.

• 6 months and younger: 11-12 hours night, 3-4 hours day in 3-4 naps.
• 6 to 9 months: 11-12 hours night, 2-3 hours day in 2-3 naps
• 9 to 18 months: 11-12 hours night, 2-3 hours day in 1-2 naps
• 18 months to 3 years: 10-12 hours, 1 nap
• 3 to 5 years: 10-11 hours, sometimes 1 nap (most lose between 3 & 4)
• 5 years+: 9-10 hours, no nap

These are just general guidelines. My toddler was still napping at just past two, but then started going to sleep too late at night (9 or 10pm), so we dropped his nap for him, early, to get more night sleep and he started sleeping 12-13 hours at night. Note: I do not recommend dropping the last nap unless absolutely necessary. This was just an example. Combining the averages with your sleep log gives you a starting point in establishing healthy sleep habits. If your child is getting far less than the averages, you will need to take a long, hard look at the reason and determine if it’s healthy or not. Please review the reasons children need to get enough sleep by clicking here.

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Science Daily recently reported in this article that certain sleep disorders are linked to behavior issues in kids. The study showed that children with sleep disordered breathing such as snoring or sleep apnea and who were also overweight, did not sleep enough, or had another sleep problem such as insomnia, were more likely to have behavior issues.

More than half of the participants with sleep disordered breathing who were studied were either overweight or at risk for being overweight (see this post about the link between sleep and obesity).

In addition 36% were identified as “short sleepers” and almost half had another sleep problem diagnosed in addition to the snoring or sleep apnea. “Forty-seven percent had a history of behavioral problems and 23 percent had a reported diagnosis of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).” Researchers were surprised that the strongest predictor of behavior problems was not the severity of the sleep apnea or snoring, but the presence of another sleep problem such as insomnia.

Of course, I notice my eldest son’s behavior plummet when he stops getting enough sleep. Just last week he accidentally napped and it resulted in he not falling asleep until 9:45 p.m. and waking at 6:50 p.m. the next day (he usually sleeps about 12 hours). That led to yet another nap and another late night and it snowballed into 2 mornings of one hour tantrums (ugh). Pitiful to watch and it breaks your heart when you know the reason, but can’t do anything much about it. What we ended up doing was skipping rest time on Saturday, so there was no nap and he was able to go to bed at a very good 7 p.m. and he slept until 7:15 or so the next day and we had our happy boy back. So, even though he doesn’t have sleep apnea (that I know of, but he does snore a little), I did not need a study to tell me that less sleep = behavior problems. But, I thought this was an interesting study to share. I am sure there are plenty of parents who feel they are doing all the right things and putting their child to bed early, and although it appears (s)he may be getting enough sleep, if their child has more going on than meets the eye, the parent may not understand the poor behavior. As my son grows and starts school, I can see how sensitive he is to missed sleep and how critical it will be that he get enough.

Do you notice a big spike in behavior problems when your child doesn’t sleep enough?

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In my last post, I discussed Harvard’s findings that less sleep could be linked to obesity, so we know at least one reason you and your baby should get enough sleep. Let’s explore other reasons as stated by Harvard Health.

Learning and memory

Have you ever tried to learn something new when you are tired? It’s hard! Well, the old saying goes that “we learn something new every day”. Babies and toddlers are learning new things probably every minute (I might be exaggerating…I didn’t look it up but I know it’s a LOT!). I notice that as the day wanes on, now that my toddler isn’t napping anymore, it is much harder for him to concentrate and learn new things or even do things he already knows how to do like a jigsaw puzzle he has done many times over. I also notice he gets clumsier. Fortunately, overall, he gets enough sleep and is better able to learn and is actually very smart (yes I am partial, but other people tell me too, I swear!).

Safety

I am sure everyone has experienced moments during the day when you practically fall asleep mid-stride. If you are driving a car, operating on someone, or bringing an airplane in for a landing, this could lead to dire consequences if you haven’t gotten enough sleep or are chronically sleep-deprived/fatigued. I remember one mom I helped who said she had run two stop signs (with her baby in the car) because her baby just would not sleep and she (and the baby) were severely overtired. She knew she had to make some changes if only for their safety!

Mood

One reason I don’t make my husband get up at night with the babies (besides the fact I nurse and there isn’t too much he can do anyway) is that if one of us is getting enough sleep, that person (hubby) is better able to “handle” the one who is sleep-deprived and moody (me). My toddler’s behavior and crankiness level change A LOT when he isn’t getting enough sleep. We have many more meltdowns and tantrums.

Illness

You are more prone to illness when you don’t get enough sleep. Your immune system is not functioning at the highest ability. This goes for your baby and toddler too and who wants to get up all night with a sick child? Obviously we won’t be able to ward off all illnesses, but even a few puts a little more sanity back in your favor.

How much sleep children need

Weissbluth’s book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, says that from 4 to 11 months old, babies need about 14 hours in 24 hours, on average (11-12 hours nighttime and 2-3 hours daytime). By two years old, that total is just a bit under 13 and by four years old about 12 1/2. So, you see it doesn’t change very much in the first few years. Ferber’s book, Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems, has slightly lower averages, but fairly comparable. All babies are different and these are just averages, but you can see that babies and children do need a lot of sleep. Adults need 7-8 hours each night. I can’t remember the last time I was able to get 8 for more than one night in a row! Oh yes I can. It was before I had kids.

How much sleep does your family get?

Time reported a few days ago that a Harvard study just concluded that too little sleep in babies and toddlers might be linked to obesity. And, they said, TV viewing heightened the effect. No surprise there. At first I was skeptical about this study of the link between sleep and obesity. After all, we are also living in a fast food era, watch hours of television, sit behind a computer for hours blogging, tweeting, and surfing the ‘net. Even if you are reading a book (you know…one that is made of paper and you don’t have to click to go to the next page), you are sitting. There are a lot of factors at play here with what is making our country obese. The CDC reports that adults aged 20–74 years the prevalence of obesity increased from 15.0% (in the 1976–1980 survey) to 32.9% (in the 2003–2004 survey) and children aged 2–5 years, the prevalence of overweight increased from 5.0% to 13.9%. So, I think we can all agree we DO have a weight problem, but what is the real driving force?

A good friend of mine and I were discussing this study and I expressed my skepticism. Although I am obsessed with sleep, my data analyst/scientific mind was having trouble getting away from too many variables and the inability for them to really study just ONE facet of a complicated toddler’s life. But, I thought this would be an appropriate place to at least explore how sleep can possibly be linked to obesity. I thought it was worth mentioning to you as another reason to get your children to get as much sleep as they need. As a bonus, if you are watching your own weight, it gives you a reason to get in that bed!

As my friend pointed out when supporting this article, circadian rhythms play a part in appetite suppressant while we sleep. Circadian rhythms are our bodies way of controlling when we sleep, get hungry, our mood and when we get IN the mood. Our bodies release hormones leptin and ghrelin to signal to our body we are full and hungry, respectively. When we don’t sleep enough, leptin levels go down and it has been shown that those of us without a circadian rhythm disorder, will get a spike of ghrelin in the middle of the night. This explains why I’d need to go out and eat after clubbing waaay back in the day, but I digress. So, naturally, if you aren’t sleeping when you should be and you get this surge of ghrelin, you can expect to get hungry and, most likely, eat. Simple as that. So, unless you go running after that late night snack or your toddler plays hard after his/her late night snack (when (s)he should be sleeping) and doesn’t sit down to watch Dora or Diego, you can see that you are more likely to eat too much that day.

What I have still concluded for myself and my family is that sleep is ever more important in our lives, but so is what we eat and how active we are. But, then that’s not news. We hear it over and over and over again…so why aren’t we all listening? I have an idea. Let’s make treadmills net, twitter and blog-enabled! Not a bad idea for you inventors out there…

I want to thank my friend for inspiring what to write in this post. I’d link to her blog, but I don’t think she has one. I’m sure hers would be very interesting, though. She has a lot of interesting thoughts.

Thoughts?

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Is it a bad idea to rock your baby? It depends. It is never a bad idea to cuddle your baby and give him/her lots of love and affection! It’s only when rocking your baby becomes something you can’t keep up with is it a problem. Let’s take a step back and let me explain what a sleep association is.

What is your sleep association? How do you fall asleep?

What kind of routine do you do before you go to sleep each night? Do you watch TV? Talk to your partner? Do you read a book? Do you sleep on a pillow? These are the types of things you associate with going to sleep each night. What would happen if your power was out and you couldn’t watch the news or read your book? Would you have trouble falling asleep? Perhaps. Or, perhaps not. Would you have trouble going to sleep without your pillow? That might be more likely to give you trouble. Some sleep associations are stronger than others. What if you went to sleep with your pillow and covers and 2 hours later woke up and they were gone? Would you be able to go back to sleep without looking for the pillow? Now let’s look at how this concept might affect your baby/child.

What is your child’s sleep association? How does your child fall asleep?

Let’s look at how many babies fall asleep. They might fall asleep while their mother or father is rocking them in a rocking chair, bundled up and very cozy in their parent’s arms. Or, they may fall asleep sucking on a bottle of breastmilk/formula. Or, perhaps they doze off with the simple use of a pacifier. Minus the teeth issue with breastmilk/formula later on, there isn’t a problem with any of these methods of falling asleep until it is a problem.

From the time my son was an itty bitty baby, he loved to be walked, rocked and nursed to sleep. He also loved napping in the moving swing. At first this was not a problem. He would fall asleep quickly and we’d put him down. But, several weeks later, I found myself rocking him for 2-3 hours each night to put him to bed. He’d fall asleep easily, but then when I put him down he’d wake up! Ah! And, then I’d need to repeat it every 1-2 hours when he woke up. It was exhausting and I was at the end of my rope! So, we took to co-sleeping, which got us both more sleep, yet I was so nervous I’d roll on top of him or my husband or I would cover him with blankets. I’m not the best sleeper, so every time he’d want to nurse, I’d have trouble going back to sleep (and I never got good and switching sides without actually switching sides either). Co-sleeping works for many and I’m not knocking it. It just didn’t work for us and it is important for every family to learn what works for them best. After learning about sleep associations I was able to transfer him back to his crib at 4 months old and we both got a LOT more sleep then!

The problem with sleep associations lies in the fact that your baby needs YOU to recreate the environment in which they fell asleep. YOU become their “pillow” and when they wake up through sleep transitions (that we ALL have!) and their pillow is gone, they don’t know how to go back to sleep. So, the key is to allow them to go to sleep the same way they will wake up periodically throughout the night. If they wake up briefly and find you gone or the movement has stopped (as with my son) or their pacifier is gone or…they will wake up more and have to call out to you so you can “help” them once again. The beauty of this is that after they get to be about 3-4 months, they really don’t “need” you as much as you might think and they can actually learn to fall asleep on their own, if they haven’t learned already up to this point.

One final thought. I want to reiterate that rocking your baby, using a pacifier, nursing or drinking a bottle before bed, etc. are not bad things to do. If you don’t mind rocking your baby for 10 minutes and (s)he falls asleep, you transfer him/her to his/her bed and (s)he sleeps all night, then there is no problem. It’s only when you can’t keep up with the (insert sleep association) that it becomes a problem. Keep in mind that your sleep fragmentation that makes you exhausted is no better for your baby than it is for you. If you are cranky, don’t you think (s)he will be too over time? I would have LOVED to rock my son and boy did I try (unintentionally — just in my nature). We slipped back into bad habits more times than I wanted to count, but it just became a hitch for him EVERY time. In the end, I was able to continue to nurse him to sleep once he learned the necessary skills to go BACK to sleep throughout the rest of the night. With opportunity and practice we can all learn a new way to sleep, even without a pillow!

If you are ready to break undesirable sleep associations preventing your baby from sleeping well, you may be interested in my sleep training (from no-cry to cry) series. If you’d like step-by-step instructions and more details, you may also be interested in my Help Your Child Sleep, a Step-By-Step Guide e-Book. And, if you need custom sleep advice for your specific situation, I also offer baby sleep consulting services.

What kind of sleep associations do you have? What about your child?